Break up Day 5

At dinner with Jane, who can’t understand why Asshole Ex dumped me. She just spilled spaghetti sauce on her white shirt and is rummaging in her bag for a Tide stick. Those never work, I tell her.
Oh, hell, I’ll just bring you into our conversation. We are talking, yet again, about red flags.
JANE: I knew that guy wouldn’t last. He was totally scattered. Remember when he made a date and forgot which night? Who does that?
ME: Yeah, but I always have backups. You know, those bit part players who are always ready to hang out at the last minute. I mean, it is me we’re talking about.
Jane laughs. Then she goes on a rant about other red flags – namely, drinking. Let’s face it girls, you can tell right away if your guy loves his booze more than he will ever love you. He will either always suggest activities that involve drinking, or he will make sure he is sufficiently liquored up before he sees you. You can also tell by how quickly he polishes off the drinks. If he can take more than two an hour, he’s a drunk. If he’s a fun drunk, then he could be great on occasion. Make no mistake, however, when the guy is drunk, he’s not going to please you in bed. And, if you are drinking to keep up with him, neither of you are going to be interested in sex and the whole night could end up a complete waste. Forget it … you don’t have time!