It’s close to Halloween, so let’s talk about Ghosting. While this is something we’ve all done to one person or perhaps many in our lives, it just plain sucks.
Here’s how it goes:
You have this great night of wine, music and sex. The next day, you’re still reeling. He said things like “I’ve always wanted this to happen and never thought I would actually get to be with you,” or “You are so beautiful, smart and sexy – I just love being with you.”
Two days go by and he doesn’t call. There are no cute, flirty emails, no texts, no fucking anything!
A week goes by and you begin to question what is wrong. You run through your mind files and ask yourself what you may have done to turn this guy off completely. Did I say something stupid? Did I act too clingy? Did I burp or forget to shave my legs? Oh, I would never do either of those.
But here’s the worst one, “Did he find out something about me and change his mind? After all, when you’re a public figure, people tend to know a lot about your lift. But, ladies, no matter what your line of work is, people can find anything out about anyone.
So if there are skeletons in your closet (note, another Halloween ref.), you never know what might happen.
The truth is, none of this bullshit is true.
You might want to chalk it up to the guy is either an asshole, a flake or was pretending to be into you to get laid. Sorry.
Okay, so three weeks go by.
You’re still ghosted. Your thought bubble is going crazy, muttering crap like, “I’m fat, ugly, and generally repulsive. In reality, it has to do with him. He is a commitment-phobe or worse, a sociopath and an inappropriate choice anyway. He may have financial concerns, an ex-lover who’s come back or a bad case of herpes. At any rate, you are lucky he has chosen the most ballless way to deal with it.
While any normal guy would just pick up the phone and let you know, this asshole seeks the cowardly way out. Yes, he’s also a coward, a flaw you can never change, no matter how hard you try.
First of all, DON’T – I repeat DON’T call him.
Whatever you think, feel or want, you must resist calling or letting your feelings be known in any way, shape or form. When you experience your worst depressed, wistful moment of picking up the phone and looking for texts that never come, don’t do it!!!
Remember, you are still the aloof one with dignity, poise and manners – especially in his eyes now.
Don’t make the mistake of berating him for his horrible ineptitude either, in some attempt to punish him for his misdeeds. If you happen to run into him later, it is wise to be gracious. Smile and be genuinely happy – even if you’re throwing up in your mouth as you do it.
Think about him as a mercy fuck or whatever you need to get past it.
In the end, you will feel sorry for him in his lonely, unevolved state of disrepair. Then, it doesn’t matter whether you catch him actually making out with another girl – you feel so benevolent, so full of love and empathy, you can walk past him calmly, confidently, and full of hope for all mankind.
Well, that is such crap, but women need to be happy in their singlehood. More on this topic later, but are any of you wondering whether I got over Asshole Ex? The answer is yes. I am so looking forward to Halloween – maybe you can guess what I’m dressing up as!
XOXO, Marisa